Finding the joy in the joyless.
When we are going through challenging and difficult times in our lives it is easy to succumb to the negative. It is easy to accept what is happening to or around us and allow the negativity it brings to consume us. Falling into the trap of accepting the negative and only the negative is easy. Our brains are wired to attach our focus to, and fixate on the negative, it is part of our fight or flight response. We are constantly assessing the world around us to see what we determine to be a danger or threat, it is great when those threats are visible and we can problem solve in a practical way, for example you can run from said danger. However sometimes the threats are an emotion or our circumstances, and they aren’t always the easiest to troubleshoot.
Enter joy.
When we talk about joy and what that means it is often mistaken for grand ideas and extravagant activities when in reality true is joy is much more simple. When we go through tough times we think we need to focus on solving our problems, and they do require some of out attention but in reality we also need to prioritise joy. When we are struggling, finding joy in each day needs to become a priority and it needs to sit quite high on your priority list.
Finding joy is not about false positivity, it is not about hiding how you feel but it is about is about making a promise to yourself that every day you will do something that brings you joy. It doesn’t need to be something huge, it can be something that only lasts a few minutes but it is important that you find a way to bring yourself joy each day. Getting up each morning knowing that even if your day is the toughest, darkest day, you will find a way to find some sunshine will help you to build resilience. Finding joy also contributes to us managing our mindset and that is our most powerful tool when tackling challenges each day.
In order to work finding joy needs to become a habit or a commitment that you make to yourself. As with all habits what is measured tends to get done so a tip would be track your joy in someway, add it to your journal, take a picture to go with the moment, mark it on a calendar, tracking will also become part of the routine which will only make the act of finding joy much easier to remember.
Here are some simple ways you can find joy in each day:
Music - listen to your favourite artist, song, album, soundtrack. Maybe even sing along.
Watch something you love.
Read something you love.
Call someone who makes you smile.
Treat yourself to a nice cup of coffee from your favourite coffee shop (or insert favourite beverage here).
Move your body.
Complete a pamper activity that isn’t part of your usual routine.
Plan a trip.
Explore your local city and learn something new about your home.
Start learning something because it’s fun. Maybe there is a hobby you have always wanted to pick up, immerse yourself in it for a few minutes each day.
Cook your favourite healthy meal.
Do something creative.
Go to the cinema on your own (it’s great trust me).
Spend time outdoors.
Building the habit of finding joy will mean that even on your darkest days there is always going to be something worth smiling about, even if it’s tiny. It does not diminish the challenges you are face but it does provide a space for relief even if that space is just the length of your favourite song.
