Slower Pace vs Hitting the Brakes
I am going to start this post a little personally because I feel it is important to be open about my own mental health diagnosis whilst helping others with theirs. There was a time when I used to hide so much of myself for fear of judgement and it is only in the last few years that I realised being vulnerable and talking openly is actually one of my super powers.
I had a day off work on Friday, I had big plans for my day off, I was going to be super productive and achieve loads of things and then the day came along and I got stuck in a loop with my OCD. Now before I go much further I must say that mostly I manage to keep my compulsions at bay, except when I am tired or overwhelmed but on Friday I got stuck in a cleaning and Eastenders loop (yes you read that right). I won’t go into the details of what that loop looks like, just know it was uncomfortable and I felt like it was a complete waste of what could have been a productive day, a productive day that I felt I needed because of the pressure I had put on myself, but I was mentally powerless to do anything else. This whole situation was a massive alarm bell for me as this is an indicator that I am tired. So tired that my OCD forced a weird partial stop on me because I had been moving at the wrong pace.
In this crazy busy world it so easy to get swept away in the never ending to do list, the events we want to attend, the friends and family we just can’t say no to, the self inflicted demands on our time that we attach a lot of importance to. So swept away that we often don’t realise that our productivity isn’t that productive in the long run.
Life is short, right?
We want to achieve a lot in our short time on this earth, right?
But do we really want to make ourselves ill by trying to do it all at the same time?
The reality is that it is much easier to travel at a slower more consistent pace than it is to travel at a high speed and slam on the brakes.
When the pace of life feels overwhelming it is important to create space to reset the pace. Here are some ways I (usually) try to do that:
Plan a self care day for just yourself, don’t set any expectations and just complete activities based on how you feel that day. If that means spending the day binge watching your favourite TV show then so be it, enjoy it without guilt!
Revaluate the expectations you have set for yourself, are your deadlines realistic? Could you change the timeframes of your goals to give yourself more space, it’s better to go slower than it is to be derailed and forced to stop.
Review your diary, what could you remove or postpone without causing more internal guilt?
Learn to say no, especially when it comes to socialising in a way that might not be beneficial to you right now. The energy we expend in those situations when we aren’t up to them can be incredibly draining. True story - I recently declined a birthday party invite because I know it would be too much for me right now and offered to take my friend to dinner instead. I made a compromise so that I can still celebrate my friend but protect myself at the same time.
6-8 hours of sleep a night is more than ideal, it is important. You can’t beat overwhelm if you are tired.
Ask for help, you don’t have to do everything by yourself.
If you can’t ask for help at least let the people closest to you know that you are struggling to manager all of your conflicting priorities so they can be considerate of how you are feeling, or at the very least check in on you.
Be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up for not managing to do it all.
This post is clearly for myself as much as it is for anyone else, but I thought it was important to share something real incase there was someone out there needing to read these words too. Today is Monday which is a great day to review your expectations, look at yourself schedule and make time for kindness towards yourself. Prioritise the journey towards reaching your goals over the destination because it’s the journey that is the most important part after all.
Slow it down, get there safely.
